Notes on the Journey

Posts tagged ‘mental-health’

Tranz Encounters of the Weird Kind

25398745_10155907134434844_7591351993301319535_n

TERF BANGS!

Today I just happened to be approaching the shuttle stop for the bus to UIOWA campus as the bus arrived. It’s been damp and cooler than normal in Iowa City and I was feeling it in my bones this morning, so I flagged the bus and hopped on. Usually I walk the two miles to the art school because a brisk walk early in the morning is the best thing for advanced arthritis. I practice mindfulness walking,  being aware of my body in space and deepening my sense perceptions of the world around me. We have all been trained to tune out the natural world, but as an artist I must continually work to deepen my sense perceptions of the living world.

So, I parked my butt in a seat near the door and tried not to look too conspicuous as the only old person on a bus filled with students. At the next stop a person with long hair and no discernible facial hair boarded the bus. They sat in the seat nearest the door and immediately began to talk very loudly about their appearance. Getting into details about mascara at 8 in the morning with a bus driver.  This was not a beauty queen, it was a rather nerdy looking person in a jacket and jeans.

I am a survivor of horrific sexual abuse that began in infancy at the hands of my violent pedophile father. The way I survived was by developing hyper-acute sensitivity to non-verbal cues, emotional timbre, tones of voice. I had to know when danger was brewing. These days I have to keep my level of hyper-alertness  at a critical level because men are pretending to be women and I HAVE to know when I am in a vulnerable situation with a person who was born with a penis and socialized into male privilege.

Ordinarily when I encounter men who are pretending to be women I can just look the other way,  and do what is necessary to avoid any interaction, so that my negative reaction won’t be noticed and out me as gender-critical. But this morning, the trans-identified male on the bus was violating my personal space. He was flirting shamelessly with the bus driver. I could feel the waves of anxiety pouring off of him as he chattered on and my stomach started to turn. I could hear the strain in his voice and he struggled to maintain the appropriate level of babytalk femininity that he thought would let him pass as female. But the facade kept breaking and I heard the testosterone bass breaking through.

I started trembling because of a gut feeling that I was in the presence of an unstable person who was telling a huge lie about objective reality and thinking he was getting away with it. In the past I have had no problem with gender nonconforming people, with men who dress in stereotypical female garb, because I thought it was about being gay and being gay is fine. Now that I have studied the phenomenon of autogynephilia, however, I understand that these men are deliberately violating social norms in order to elicit a shock reaction from others. This causes a feeling of sexual stimulation for these men. It can become an out of control addiction for some men. But we are never supposed to talk about this because to do so violates the rights of the gender nonconforming.

I marveled at how the bus driver went along with this performance. Because it is totally about performance. After a couple of stops I got up and moved to the back of the bus where I wouldn’t have to hear that man’s voice seesawing in and out of falsetto and basso profundo. I did some deep breathing and it came to me that this is what men believe being a woman really is all about. Our entire existence is seen as a performance for men’s benefit. All women are capable of is paying minute attention to every aspect of our appearance and behavior, to be certain we are pleasing men – according the the tranz doctrine. We are empty masks painted on the sky, no soul within that mask. I can’t think of a more alienated state to aspire to. Imagine thinking that what you really are is a fake mask. That’s what an “identity” is.

I wonder if the bus driver and people around these sad individuals who enable their behavior would be as accepting and tolerant of transgenderism if they understood that it really is a psycho-sexual disorder on the same scale as anorexia. It is a distorted image of the self and a denial of the body in exactly the same way as anorexia, with as dire consequences for physical health, since cross sex hormones are just poison and removing healthy body parts is – and should be treated as – criminally insane behavior. That goes for the greedy “doctors” who do this to children. We are taking names. You WILL be held to account for this.

gender-identity-disorder-drawing_csp11866849.jpg

Tranz Trances, Session 5

I actually thought I was done with this series and had said what I needed to say, but then I opened the Daily Iowan, the student rag here at the University of Iowa, and read this stunning editorial that calls for an end to Title lX protections for females in order to accommodate people who think they are the opposite sex from the one they were born as. If I had any doubt that the tranz fad is all about misogyny and the attempt to terrorize women and invade our hard won private space and generally erase us and the gains we have made in the legal sphere, then this piece of yellow journalism clears away those doubts.

The very worst part of this is that I can’t get anyone in the UI community or this paper to answer any of my questions about the tranz phenomenon. It’s like I entered the Twilight Zone and I am surrounded by the Gender Zombies. Appparently now that we are no longer distinguishable from one another and are sexually interchangeble there is no longer a problem with male privilege, male violence against women or the thousands of ways that that people who are born with “front holes” are harassed, diminished, paid less for the same work, and subject to forced pregnancy and “sex work.” Tranzing non-gender-conforming kids is a progressive idea and anyone who disagrees and wonders whether a child can give informed consent to poisonous sterilizing hormones and mutilating plastic surgery is a gay-bashing bigot who does not deserve the dignity of a reply.

supreme-court-692x360

EDITORIAL: TITLE IX, RIGHTS, AND A VACANT SUPREME COURT SEAT

The Supreme Court is set to hear a potentially landmark case in the battle for LGBTQ rights. This is the second major case the Supreme Court has heard with regards to the LGBTQ community in the past two years (the first being the mandate that all U.S. states legalize same-sex marriage).

The upcoming case deals with the increasingly ubiquitous debate over public restrooms. According to NPR, the case, Gloucester County School Board v. Grimm, involves a transgender boy who was able to use the boy’s restroom as a freshman in high school until some parents complained. As a result,  the School Board adopted a policy requiring students to use the restrooms corresponding with their biological sex or a separate single-stall restroom.

In April, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 4th District agreed to see the case. Gloucester County then petitioned the court, and justices ruled (5-3) that the School Board did not have to follow the order of the lower court.

According to numerous sources, Grimm’s argument has been that Title IX (the federal law banning sex-based discrimination in schools) protects transgender people as well.

The case becomes interesting because, according to the Washington Post, Title IX may not apply to this scenario. Title IX does not make a comment on gender classification; rather, it comments on the ability of men and women to use specific facilities. Grimm’s case may, therefore, have some difficulty proving a connection to Title IX because Grimm would have to prove that as a male, he is being discriminated against (as opposed to the school debating how he defines his own gender). This is not to say that Grimm does not have a case, but that he may not be able to win on the grounds that the actions of the Gloucester County School Board violated Title IX.

Regardless of whether this case is winnable for Grimm, federal legislation like Fair Housing and Civil Rights could also be affected by the decision.

While the case will not be heard until sometime next year, the implications of this case are massive and are only magnified by the battle currently going on over the ninth Supreme Court seat. This case — taken alone — will have effects on many future cases involving transgender individuals. But given that there may be an impending flip of partisan power on the Supreme Court, the precedent set by this case will inform all future cases involving public expectations, no mater how insensitive of transgendered people.

The weight of this case, therefore, cannot go unnoticed. The actual decision may be several months away, but it is never too early for the Supreme Court to consider the long-lasting impact of its decisions. The Daily Iowan Editorial Board believes it is the Supreme Court’s duty to protect the rights of these Americans, as it finally did last year for other members of the LGBTQ Community.

Perhaps because of the vague language used in Title IX, this could not be the case that opens doors like the gay marriage decisionof last year opened doors for other members of the LGBTQ community. But it is the beginning of a more serious national discussion of openness that has been coming for some time.

That said, we hope the case to rule in favor of Grimm. But it seems this all sits in limbo of who will sit in the ninth seat on the Supreme Court and how that person chooses to interpret Title I.

 My Reply :

You say,”But it is the beginning of a more serious national discussion of openness that has been coming for some time,” but in fact this paper has never once printed any information from anyone who questions the merits and the science behind transgendering people. And whenever I personally try to engage anyone in the UI community on this topic, from RVAP  (Rape victim’s Advocacy Program) to WRAC (Women’s Resource and Action Center) to the GWSS  (Gender, Women and Sexuality Studies) program I am studiously ignored. You mention that ” the precedent set by this case will inform all future cases involving public expectations, no mater how insensitive of transgendered people,” but you say nothing about how abolishing the legal difference between males and females will be far more than simply insensitive to women.

I would like you to present peer-reviewed scientific studies that prove that there is no biological or therefore, legal, difference between males and females and that the socialized gender noms that have been establsihed by patriarchy in order to enforce the second class status of females are inborn characteristics that have more validity than being born XX or XY, that is, as a male or a female with their associated sex organs.

People may be “assigned” a sex ROLE at birth and they may not like that sex ROLE, but this does not therefore mean that they have the “wrong” body. Why am I not allowed to say this?

I would also like to know what not liking your body, such that you want to mutilate yourself in order to appear to be the opposite sex, has to do with being homosexual. Are all transgender people homosexual? If they aren’t, then why are they part of the the gay, lesbian, queer, bisexual political rights cadre? I would be happy to hear what the reasoning behind this is, especially since I am a bisexual, non-gender-conforming grandma and I apparently missed something as this was becoming an issue that I am now being forced to grapple with.

Another problem with your continued advertisement of and normalization of this trend is the way that it affects children. I went along with the trans ideology until I realized that parents were taking their non-gender-conforming kids to shrinks and surgeons and subjecting them to hormone treatments (which can cause cancer and mitochondrial damage as well as sterilizing a child before they really understand what this means) and plastic surgery. That is when I had to put my foot down and speak up.

Being gender-non-conforming is fine with with me. People who don’t conform to patriarchal sex role stetreotypes should not be the targets of male violence. But trivializing and erasing the rights of an entire sex class (women) and trying to shame people like me into silence for questioning whether there is even any science behind this assertion, i.e., that somehow there is no biological difference between men and women and that a person can be born into the wtrong body and needs the ministrations of surgeons and Big Pharma to cure them of this malady, – is just more male privilege at work.

images

How testosterone harms the female body

Gay Man Writes About Medicalized Childhood

Erasing Women

Reading Daly, 30 Years On

imagesFrom my journal, October 26, 2016:

It is fucking hard to be rereading Mary Daly’s Gyn/Ecology thirty years on from the first time I read her and to realize that I had the “answers” and the analysis and yet I could not avoid being eaten alive by the forces of the sadostate.  I descended into the phallocratic underworld and completely lost my way and my self. Which was the main point of all the violence – to consign me to a living death.

Within the sadostate women are ontologically undermined, for the sadointent is the conversation of female participation in Be-ing into mere being, that is, the conversion of women into things, and into complicity and thinghood. To the extent that phallic lust succeeds, women are reduced to nonbe-ing.

Robert Whitaker’s book Mad In America:The Enduring Mistreatment of the Mentally Ill partly woke me up in 2008 and sent me along a path of healing; facing my addiction to the behavior-control chemicals that I was prescribed by doctors who were apparently attempting to partially euthanize me. They were trying  to shut me up about having been raped and battered by my father for the first 12 years of my life.  I did manage to free myself from the drug straitjacket, tapering carefully from the behavior-control chemical cocktail slowly over the course of 4 years.

images-1Whitaker went over the some of the same material as Daly, chronicling the rise of gyno/genocidal psychiatry – it’s connections to eugenics and Nazi medical experiments and the mass murder of mental patients during WWll in Germany, but Daly’s words were absent from my damaged brain in 2008, my memory wiped clean by the chemicals and the psychiatric trauma I had endured. And so I wasn’t able to see the whole picture and make the connection that psychiatry is one front, a major one, in the war on women.

There is indeed a war on women. There is a force in this culture, in all of the civilizations on the planet, (except the most primitive and endangered) that absolutely HATES women and nature and wants us silenced, bound and gagged, controlled, tortured, eliminated, made into a lifeless plastic substitute. I have been encountering it everywhere, but I have been unable to name it or see the connections between the various manifestations. I kept taking it personally, kept blaming myself for my difficulties.

Most people really are asleep, are sleepwalking through their lives, automatically acting out atrocities. unaware of the violence they do to themselves, to women and children, to the living planet.

SO -what was I expecting from enlightenment? I guess I was expecting peace and joy and freedom, not this creeping sense of horror upon finding myself awake in the middle of the mass nightmare we call civilization.

I spoze I could go back to the professional  euthanizers and have them chemically neutralize me again.

Nah. I’d rather be awake and aware and in pain than be one of the zombies walking around with their eyes glued to their smartphones, oblivious to the horror raining down all around us.
download

If pHARMa Told The Truth

%d bloggers like this: