The medical term for the condition in which someone feels discomfort or distress in their sexed body is ‘gender dysphoria’. In using the term ‘transgender kids’ it is not the kids we are protecting and advocating for, but the ideology itself. The term transgender, is used by organizations as an umbrella term for all so-called ‘gender questioning’, ‘gender non-conforming’ and ‘gender variant’ children, thus sweeping up all children who don’t conform 100% to stereotype. The ‘transgender’ label treats all ‘gender dysphoric’ children as a homogenous group; the reason a small toddler boy who loves playing with dolls believes he is really a girl becomes exactly the same reason a troubled autism spectrum teenage girl thinks she really is a boy: ‘because they are transgender’. An adult identity politics has been applied to children and young people whose identities are not fixed but are in a process of being built through experience and interaction with the environment; identities which are highly vulnerable to influence from adults. The Travistock, a world renowned gender clinic for those under eighteen years of age , located in the U.K., has seen an increase in referrals of nearly 1000% over the past six years. Each year has seen 50% increase in referrals and during that time the number of children less than ten years of age has increased four-fold. The reversal in the sex ratio since 2009/10, when figures were first recorded, has been expanding year on year and the number of girls is now nearly double that of boys: 913 out of the 1398 children and adolescents referred in 2015/16. The average age was fourteen. One simple story has been popularized to explain this unprecedented increase in numbers: that of ‘courageous children daring to be their authentic selves and the brave parents who support them’ has been relentlessly promoted to the public within a climate where any challenge has been silenced by accusations of hatred and bigotry and all debate shut down. Through exploiting confusion in the public mind between ‘sex’ (the biological reality of being male or female) and ‘gender’ (the social status through a stereotypical role of masculine and feminine), transgender organizations have managed to mask the inherent contradictions of a reactionary ideology. The fact that changing your sex to match your ‘gender identity’ reinforces the very stereotypes which these organizations claim to be challenging is effectively hidden in plain sight as, in increasing numbers, boys who love princess culture become ‘girls’ and short-haired football-loving girls become ‘boys’. Promoted as a ‘progressive’ social justice movement based on ‘accepting difference’, transgender ideology in fact takes that difference and stamps it out. It says that the sexist stereotypes of gender are the true distinction between boys and girls and biological sex is an illusion. In this ideology, ‘being feminine’ has replaced being female as the very definition of ‘girl’. Quietly, the idea that sterilizing children by blocking their natural sexual development and then medically altering their healthy bodies with synthetic cross-sex hormones, followed by possible surgery and lifelong risky medication, has been accepted as the new orthodoxy. We have never before taught children they can decide their sex; this is an experiment. Let’s see how it is going…
We have never trained children into such extreme stereotyped sex-roles from birth as we have done over the last decade. Through industry marketing designed to maximize profits, the toys, books and clothes produced for children today, shoehorn boys into the blue box and girls into the pink box, with no room for overlap. A belief in sexist stereotypes has been fostered for decades, particularly through media sexual objectification of women as well as books like ‘Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus’ (at the time of writing still the biggest-selling self-help book of all time). The message reinforced through both print and broadcast media is that men and women are different species, women valued primarily for how they look and men for what they do. These are the messages that influence us all and which are embedded into children every day through our image-saturated public culture. No matter that the brain research shows us that male and female brains are far more alike than they are different and that many of the stereotypes that assume are natural and genetic, are simply not true, the cultural messages all around us say the opposite. When a little boy prefers playing with Barbie dolls looks around him today, the message he gets everywhere, in toy shops, toy packaging , advertising and perhaps from his parents, is that only girls play with Barbie, so it is easy to see how childish logic could tell him “I must be a girl.” If we define the gender boxes for children so rigidly, it is not surprising that a child who does not fit into the one designated for their sex might see no alternative but to join the other one; we give children no space to exist comfortably between the two extremes. How much is a child’s ‘gender identity’ formed by internalization of these cultural messages that children are bombarded with every day? And how much is the idea of “transgender kids” is formed from their parent’s extension of pre-existing sex-stereotyped beliefs? There exists no media coverage of ‘trans kids’ in which a parent does NOT cite toys or clothes preferences as evidence that their child is really the opposite sex. The ‘innate gender identity’ theory also feeds into an idea of a child-led and childcentering parenting model. One of the central skills of child-centered parenting is that of listening to the child and centering their feelings. Listening is very easily conflated with ‘agreeing’ in this ‘child-knows-best’ model. It is easy to see how a child’s feelings can quickly become consolidated as the strongest reality in a child’s mind when they are afforded such central importance by a parent. Comments of parents of ‘transgender kids’ in media reports invariably reflect this style of parenting; ‘I just listened to him, he knows who he is, he knows himself best’. These parents are not unusual in their belief in their child’s level of self-knowledge. But a four year-old can only know themselves as a four year-old, just as a 15 year-old can only know who they are as a teenager: children, by definition, are unable to countenance themselves ever changing. Nowhere do we see society’s concordance with this view of children more clearly than in the new responsibility we are giving them to decide their sex, handing over authority to children on a matter they cannot possibly fully understand until their psychosexual development is complete.
A NEW WAY TO BE HOMOPHOBIC
The overwhelming majority of children who experience gender dysphoria will not carry those feelings into adulthood and most of those children, if left alone, will turn out to be gay, lesbian or bi-sexual as adults. To apply this rigid gender-essentialist theory to highly suggestible young children effectively operates as a new form of gay conversion therapy. Neither parents nor children live in a cultural bubble, immune to any influence from society. The fact that at a very young age boys outnumber girls, but teenage girls vastly outnumber teenage boys at gender clinics, in itself demonstrates the existing social influence behind those referrals. Societal acceptance of ‘tomboys’ versus relative hostility towards young boys who express ‘girly’ interests must play some part in parents’ readiness to believe their little boys are transgender but not so much their girls. Parents who in the past may have forced a ‘macho’ role onto sons they feared were homosexual, now have a socially-sanctioned way to ‘stamp out the gay’ through transgenderism. For girls, adolescence is the time when they are suddenly expected to live up to impossible ideals of femininity, a time when approval is withdrawn for any ‘boyish’ behavior or appearance they managed to get away with when young. It is not surprising that this is a time of ‘sudden onset gender dysphoria’ for girls. Defining themselves as ‘straight guys’ becomes an attractive option for teenage lesbians within a society which views lesbians as either failed women or a male pornographic fantasy. While a ‘trans’ identity is accepted and cool, ‘dyke’ is still used as an insult, thrown at a girl in school. The root cause of why children transition,is distinctly based on both homophobia and misogyny. But the ideology of transgender identity, just enables us to look the other way. Not recognizing this, comes with huge consequences for these so-called “transgender kids”.
THE SCHOOLS GENDER GUIDELINES, RESOURCES AND POLICY CHANGES
Organizations such as British Columbia and Alberta’s, SOGI 123, along with other transgender workshops/programs, claim to prevent ‘homophobic’, bi-phobic and transphobic bullying in schools, but which in practice, is an increasingly common way of teaching transgender ideology to schoolchildren through ‘LGBTQ+’ support initiatives. Welding a gender identity ideology ( the “TQ+”) with sexual orientation ( the original “LGB” acronym) has allowed transgender organizations to get the idea into primary/elementary schools before the age of at which we start talking to children about homosexuality. It gives transgender ideology a head start in influencing children before they have had a chance to grow up, mature sexually, and come to the realization that they are actually gay or lesbian. The fact that the routine bullying of children who defy gender and sex-role stereotypes is rooted in homophobia and sexism is effectively disguised by calling it ‘transphobia’. Calling non-conforming children ‘transgender’ not only covers up the real issues of homophobia and sexism which are rife in schools, but serves to validate those underlying attitudes. A little boy is mocked by being called a ‘girl’ and transgender ideology supports the bullies: he is a girl. Once he ‘becomes’ a girl there is no longer anything to mock and the bullies have won. Is this seriously what we are advocating as part of bullying prevention in schools? The transgender schools resources/guidelines ( for example, Canada’s SOGI 123) has become a staple of transgender organizations, LGBTQ+ groups and local councils. These transgender school resources typically begin with a disingenuous claim of ‘supporting gender diversity’ followed seamlessly by information about ‘being transgender’. The obfuscating language typical of these teaching resources effectively covers up the real message sent to children: that if you are in any way ‘diverse’ you are ‘trans’. This is not just misinformation but dangerously misleading for children who, once taught to define themselves as ‘trans’, are then encouraged along the now established path of invasive and irreversible medical treatment. The guidebooks given out by SOGI 123, in reality teaches the opposite of what it pretends: gender diversity will not be tolerated; everyone will be made to conform. Power Up Workshops, headed by Kerri Isham is one such organization, which school districts contract- out to provide “sex ed” to schools around Vancouver Island, Canada. In her grade 2 workshop, the focus of the workshop will be on the ‘I Am Jazz” book (transgender focus). The books own description is as follows “From the time she was two years old, Jazz knew that she had a girl’s brain in a boy’s body. She loved pink and dressing up as a mermaid and didn’t feel like herself in boys’ clothing. This confused her family, until they took her to a doctor who said that Jazz was transgender and that she was born that way. Jazz’s story is based on her real-life experience and she tells it in a simple, clear way that will be appreciated by picture book readers, their parents, and teachers.” Jazz is also a big American reality t.v. media “darling”, starring on TLC with the same titled series, “I Am Jazz”.
The conflation of ‘sex’ and ‘gender’ welds ‘female’ to ‘feminine’ and ‘male’ to ‘masculine’ so that ‘smashing the gender binary’ means not that males can be feminine, but that males must literally change to females and vice versa, creating an association between the physical sexed body and the concept of non-conformity in children’s minds. Thus children are deliberately misled into recasting ‘feminine personality traits’ as ‘female gender identity’. Children who don’t feel themselves to be 100% masculine or feminine are placed literally somewhere between biologically male and female, accounting for a growing number of young people who previously would not have thought to label themselves at all, now identifying as ‘non-binary’. Non-binary might be a growing category within trans/gender ideology, but it is double mastectomy that is increasingly the surgery of necessity, for girls. And it is only transgender doctrine which misleads young people into thinking that some personality traits are literally ‘male’ or ‘female’ and that your body must match your personality. In these guidelines, there’s collusion in reproducing harmful ideas. One example of this, is to allow ‘transgender pupils’ extra breaks during physical education lessons because “some youngsters who choose to bind their chests may suffer from breathing difficulties and fainting”. The sex-neutral ‘transgender’ category hides the fact that it is only girls who are binding their breasts, denying adolescent girls the support which recognizes their unique problems and needs. The harms of binders are documented in a 2015 study which indicates 28 potential negative outcomes, including compressed or broken ribs, punctured or collapsed lungs, back pain, compression of the spine, damaged breast tissue, damaged blood vessels, blood clots, inflamed ribs and even heart attacks. The necessity for shallow breathing in itself restricts the flow of oxygen to vital organs resulting in a restriction in physical activity harmful to overall health. Any other practice of self-harm is recognized as such, but these organizations, declare binders as very important for girls ‘psychological well-being’. To say that girls ‘choose’ binders absolves us of the responsibility to question the ideology which has created that ‘choice’ and to question whether we should be teaching and encouraging it in schools. Using transgender activist materials, these resources frame any valid discomfort girls may feel about males in their toilets and changing-rooms as ‘prejudice, discrimination and hate’. It omits information about current sex-based rights and protections for girls, the very group who are facing unprecedented levels of sexual harassment and abuse across, not just Canada and western nations, but on a global scale. At the age of sexual development when girls are at their most vulnerable, they are told they have no right to their own boundaries as a sex; that they must protect the feelings of a male classmate above their own need for privacy, comfort and psychological safety. Teaching ‘consent’ in schools is meaningless if girls are given no right to NOT consent to males in their private spaces if those males ‘identify’ as female. For example, school district68’s (Nanaimo, B.C.), new policy adopted recently, is as follows “Washrooms, Locker & Change Rooms: All students have a right to safe and private washroom and changing facilities. They have the right to access washrooms, locker rooms and changing facilities that correspond to their gender identity regardless of their legal sex. The student’s selfidentification is the sole measure of the student’s gender. Schools may maintain separate washrooms, locker rooms or changing facilities for male and female students, provided that students can access them based on their gender identity.” By aligning the ‘TQ+’ with ‘LGB’, girls who would complain are branded, not only as ‘transphobic’, but ‘anti-LGBTQ+ rights’. It is not just the threat of punishment by school faculty adhering to the schools policy changes, which will frighten and shame girls into submission, but the fear of being ostracized from their peer group at the age when belief in social justice causes is at its most passionate.
THE END OF SAFE-GUARDING
Whilst ignoring women/girls sexed based rights and protections established in law, schools, child protection agencies, public organizations and social services are already acting as if transgender identity ideology is an established truth. Redefining ‘girl’ and ‘woman’ as self-identities takes away any distinction between males and females and erases all safe-guarding policies for girls. Adolescent and adult males are not only granted a new socially-sanctioned means to access girls private spaces, including on camping and overnight trips, but girls are denied the right to recognize or name them as males. The grooming of young girls to allow the violation of their boundaries puts them at further risk throughout their lives, as they are systematically coached into ignoring their own intuition and warning signals, through fear of hurting the feelings of males. Transgender ideology demands policies which allow for no recognition of biological sex. The most vulnerable girls in society, such as those in institutional care homes, are especially at risk of exploitation by any predatory male who now has a fail-safe way to gain access to their private spaces, unfettered by local authorities who would not dare challenge his ‘gender identity’. Just as the ‘affirmation only’ rule substitutes obedience to an orthodoxy for normal duty of care principles in the treatment of ‘trans’ identified children, so the ‘gender identity’ rule substitutes a ‘trust all men’ approach in place of secure safe-guarding protocols for all girls and young women. Girls are further made invisible by the increasing adoption of so-called ‘gender neutral’ language in schools as urged by transgender organizations and to stop calling girls ‘girls’ in assemblies, classes etc., in case any girls ‘identify’ as boys. This is not ‘gender neutral’ but a de-sexing of language which, as we see in the wider culture, works only to erase the word ‘woman’. Effectively we are educating girls into the class that dare not speak it’s name. In adopting policies which recognizes that “your gender is a choice” reinforces to girls that being a certain way (having short hair? having an interest in gaming but no interest in fashion?) makes you a boy. These policies tell girls that being a ‘girl’ is an option, not a fact of biology, thus indoctrinating girls into the idea that boys can also be girls if they feel like it and girls must accept them as such. Yet ‘girl’ is not a subjective idea, it is a fact and it means ‘young female’. There are infinite ways of being a girl, none of which tip you over into being a boy. Schools fail in their duty to girls by buying into this new pressure on those who don’t conform to stereotype to redefine themselves as boys, and the school faculty, of all people, should be resisting the sexist assumption behind it.
THE BETRAYAL OF AUTISM SPECTRUM CHILDREN
One of the most shocking aspects of the exponential rise in referrals to gender clinics is that 50% of the children exhibit autism spectrum traits. No adolescent is mature enough to understand that they are being indoctrinated into gender identity ideology and ‘queer’ politics, nor able to predict the reality of a lifetime on this medical path, which even the ‘gender specialists’ don’t know. Autism spectrum adolescents, who struggle to understand social rules, are particularly vulnerable to the literal thinking behind the idea that if you have feminine personality traits you are a girl, and especially susceptible to the rigid thinking which will keep them stuck in a ‘trans’ identity once they have been taught to define themselves as such. Teachers are now disabled in their ability to protect children diagnosed as on the autism spectrum and all other special needs children, along with those who are troubled or have experienced previous trauma or sexual abuse, because transgender orthodoxy demands that they immediately accept a child’s new identity at face value. Even the most vulnerable groups of children are not exempt from the rule. Transgender orthodoxy itself prevents us from asking any questions.
Adolescence is a crucial period of identity development as teenagers do the important job of figuring themselves out as they move from childhood to adulthood. This is a long process of exploration; the adolescent brain does not reach full maturity until around age twenty-five and even as adults our self-identities develop and change. Teenagers have never before been taught that it is normal and necessary to define their personalities in terms of ‘gender’ when building their self-identities. In our refusal to look at the culture in which our children are growing up, we can assume that they are happily immune to any harmful cultural messages and experiences. We can also remain blind to the direct influences on teenage girls through social media platforms such as Tumblr and Reddit, and we fail to see the typical pattern for adolescent girls to ‘come out’ as transgender after bingeing on these sites. We recognize the phenomenon of social contagion through online sites which glorify harmful behaviors such as cutting, eating disorders and suicide, and we know that teenage girls are the group most active in the world of social media and particularly susceptible to the influence of these sites. Yet online transgender forums and YouTube videos which encourage young people onto a medicalized ‘trans’ path are not considered harmful. But this social contagion cannot even be recognized within a transgender ideology which pushes the belief of a hardwired gender identity immune to social influence. The effect of indoctrinating children into this new gender orthodoxy is becoming apparent. There is in fact no escape: child protection agencies, therapists and counsellors, teachers, all are being told that anything less than ‘affirmation of preferred gender‘ is ‘conversion therapy’. As a society we are systematically dismantling any means of support or access to any model of understanding for children who are struggling with gender issues other than transgenderism. There are no other support groups for children and young people who feel they don’t ‘fit in’ because gender confusion; transgender organizations have the monopoly on these vulnerable teens. The period of adolescence is characterized by risky behavior, poor decision-making and inability to weigh up long-term consequences or make accurate benefit and risk calculations. The most vulnerable and troubled teenagers are especially ill-equipped to protect themselves from the influence of organizations whose modus operandi looks more like the recruitment tactics of a cult than genuine support for confused young people, even though the evidence across all published studies is that the percentage of children who outgrow gender dysphoria is around 80%.
TRANSITION OR DIE?
An integral part of the celebratory media story has been the darker supporting narrative of the inevitable suicide outcome if children are not supported in their transition. If parents need one more push to believe the new ideology, this is the one that does it. With no evidence that treatment cures suicidal ideation (nor recognition that hormonal drugs, as a side-effect, may exacerbate it), transgender youth support organizations regularly broadcast the threat to worried parents and a gullible media. Cheri DiNovo, a church minister and former politician in Ontario, Canada, in speaking of parents who object to the notion that affirmation is the only option in dealing with a child’s claim of a gender identity, stated in an interview for the 2017 BBC documentary titled ‘Transgender Kids: Who Knows Best?’, “That child will kill themselves if their trans because many trans children do… Is that what parents really want of their children?” In 2015, DiNovo’s Bill 77, which prohibits so-called conversion therapy for gender identified youth (prohibits all therapy that doesn’t apply strictly to the affirmation approach) passed and became law.
A MEDICAL EXPERIMENT
The most glaring contradiction this incoherent transgender ideology can be seen in its claims that although sex is irrelevant to whether you are a boy or a girl, it is your biological sex characteristics which must be prevented from developing and then cosmetically altered. The stakes are high: if children take blockers in early puberty and progress to cross-sex hormones at the age of sixteen they will be sterilized as gametes have not had a chance to mature. It is the flood of sex hormones at puberty which triggers the enormous changes in the adolescent brain and it is not known whether interrupting this process prevents full maturation of the frontal lobe functions which develop from puberty until the mid-twenties. We are already hearing of the devastating effects on the long-term health of women who were prescribed these blockers for precocious puberty (a rare condition, where puberty occurs too early in children of six to nine years of age) and yet the Travistock has been prescribing their off-label use for ‘transgender kids’ since 2011. The use of synthetic cross-sex hormones – testosterone for girls, estrogen for boys – has only recently been tried on children so young. We don’t know the effects of synthetic crosssex hormones on young developing bodies or of the cumulative effects over a lifetime’s use: children prescribed these treatments are guinea-pigs. The documented adverse outcomes for men using synthetic versions of testosterone include heart attack, heart failure, stroke, depression, hostility, aggression, liver toxicity, personality changes and infertility. In synthetic versions of testosterone approved only for use on adult males, the risk of blood-clotting is well known; for teenage girls, drug induced thickened blood is pushing it’s way round a smaller female cardiovascular system, thinner arteries and smaller veins. The long-term consequences of medical experimentation on children diagnosed as ‘transgender’ are not known.
‘Transgender kids’ as a definition exists only in a mythical world outside of any wider cultural context. Our children though, are growing up in a specific culture in which there is enormous pressure to fit gender stereotypes; which views children and adolescents as fully autonomous agents making free choices; which glamorizes transgender identity; where homophobia and misogyny are still rife and within which, children are being taught ‘gender identity’ ideology as truth. ‘Transgender kids’ is not a scientific or medical term but a political one. There has been no scientific breakthrough over the last few years, no globally-trumpeted announcement of the discovery that sexual dimorphism in humans lies in their personal, subjective feelings and not in their male and female biology; no new theory of mind which bestows on children the power to change reality by wishing hard enough. What we have been witnessing is not only a medical experiment on some children’s bodies but a psychological experiment on all children’s minds. What will happen if we tell teenage girls that their male classmate is now a ‘girl’ and that the reality that he is male is not true? How will deception and gas-lighting of children affect their security and their trust in adults? What will be the cumulative effects of cognitive dissonance on the mental health of children who are no longer allowed to name reality? In trying to protect a minority group we have redefined all boys and girls as ‘identities’ rather than sexes. There is already plenty of evidence, not least in the confused words of children and adolescents themselves throughout the media, of the devastating impact of this mass societal abuse of young people’s trust. With a non-evidence based medical pathway set in stone and an untested unscientific ideology being promoted as truth from the earliest age, we are witnessing an unprecedented and comprehensive experiment being conducted on the children of this generation.
Hi, I’m Amanda. I am a homesteading Traditional Catholic wife and mother of two. I’m trying hard to share my deeply held convictions without seeming mean and cold. Bear with me. I’m glad you’re here.
Not Woke: My Experience as the Child of a Trans Individual
It has come to my attention that I am not “woke”. Not in the least. Be that as it may, I want to share my story about being the child of a transgender individual because in all the years this has been my story I have observed very few people consider this perspective. Many years ago, when I so desperately needed to feel understood, there were no resources. Now, the debate over trans issues is all out in the open, and I’m still not seeing many resources for kids of trans people. There are lots of articles and support groups focused on how to support trans loved ones but nothing about how to support the children caught up and confused by such a dramatic change in a family.
Before I begin, I’d just like to say I’ve never heard of any other stories exactly like mine. I don’t know whether the behavior I’m going to detail is typical. I’m not commenting on all trans individuals; I couldn’t possibly. These vignettes of my dad’s behavior during this time are all on the theme of his transition, but they don’t define him entirely, nor do they define anyone else. They define my experience with his transition.
My father came out as transgender the summer before I started 8th grade, and I found it traumatizing. This was the year 2000 when Eddie Izzard’s transvestite stand-up comedy was edgy in the extreme. My developing adolescent brain had no idea how to interact with a parent who wasn’t willing to be identified as my father anymore. None of my peers had an opinion or support to offer. Every time I shared my experience with a friend, they always seemed kind of stunned, sometimes disgusted. It was a different time. No one was “woke”.
Though I loved my father with a devotion bordering on idolatry, I felt traumatized by the process of his transition. Some children of trans parents express having “known” what was coming when their parents came out, but I had no idea what was coming. My dad’s news was a shock. My father was a 6-foot-tall, stoic, hyper-intellectual black belt in karate. My dad was manly. “Becoming a woman” seemed like the last thing he was ever likely to do, but he announced his intention to do just that one evening in late summer. Shortly after that, his behavior started to change drastically, and it was this new behavior more than the transition itself that I found traumatizing. It started small.
He asked me not to call him “Daddy” for the first time while we were in a Target. We were shopping, and I called to him something like “Daddy, come look at this,” but he was already presenting as a woman in public and was mortified. To his credit, I now understand being embarrassed by your kids in public and saying potentially hurtful things without thinking. No one is perfect. But I was still traumatized. I felt betrayed. I was very much in denial about my pain.
During that school year, I tried to commit suicide by taking 11 ibuprofen at once. The bottle said not to take more than 10 at once, so I took 11. It’s a little absurd I now realize, but I was a naive girl who had had a happy childhood in a loving home until that point, and so I really thought ibuprofen would end my life.
In the intervening years, my experience as the teenage child of a transgender person continued to be traumatizing. His inappropriate behavior regarding his sexual identity intensified. My dad openly discussed graphic and minute details about his hormone therapy, breast development, and surgeries with me; at one point he offered to let me see the finished work of the reassignment surgery while it was “still a surgical site.” After his surgery, my dad practiced using dilation tools with the door open. He had previously shown me the tools: acrylic phalluses used to maintain the newly created orifice. He referred to the largest one as “the tin can.” He was covered with a blanket while using them, but I knew what he was doing and why.
He told me stories about his adventures interacting with the world as a woman- stories about flirting with men or having slumber parties with the members of his trans support group. There were stories about telling women he met that he didn’t have children because he knew he couldn’t discuss pregnancy and birth with them from a woman’s perspective. He told strangers he didn’t have kids because he didn’t want to be outed. Then he told me about it.
I attempted suicide again when I was 16. I used pills once more, but this time it was a mix of all the pills I could find in the house: both prescription and over-the-counter because I meant business. As before, I wanted to end my life because I felt so emotionally and psychologically maxed out by everything that attended my dad’s transition that any little extra difficulty pushed me over the edge of anxiety and despair. I also felt a powerful need to protect my dad from my pain. To this day, I’m not even sure he knows about this second attempt.
After he met a man and they started a serious relationship, he asked me to lie to this man at our family’s Christmas party and tell him I was a niece. He asked me to pretend to be an orphan in my own family for the sake of keeping his secret. Our relationship became increasingly strained. A year later I was at the hospital for another suicide attempt.
When I became engaged, my dad refused to walk me down the aisle at my wedding because he didn’t want to be recognized as my father by my guests. Eventually, I asked him not to contact me anymore. It has been 5 years since we have spoken.
I’m not insensible to the fact that the above actions don’t represent a complete picture of my father’s character. I’m not insensible to the fact that all of my own unkind and selfish actions listed out in this manner would seem damning. I’m only trying to give a clear picture of my own experience as the child of a transgender person. I found it traumatizing, and it was a time in the world when no one thought about things like this. I was on my own for dealing with it, so to speak. It is my experience that it was something that had to be dealt with.
I wasn’t “woke” then, and I’m not “woke” now. The trauma I felt in connection with my dad’s transition has been deep and long lasting. Just this week, I woke up from a sound sleep in a cold sweat because a memory of my father describing his first “female orgasms” to me when I was 15 bubbled to the surface of my subconscious.
Trans issues are something of a trigger for me. My personal experience makes it difficult for me to feel compassion for trans people in their current attempts to be seen. You’ll notice my continued use of male pronouns, the term “reassignment surgery” instead of “affirmation surgery.” I know that it’s not very tolerant and it’s certainly not progressive, maybe even tone-deaf, but it is the product of my experience.
Trans people aren’t bad people, but my experience with the trans individual I know best was akin to child abuse. I don’t know how else to describe my exposure to such graphic sexual issues so early and often. In addition to the sexual content, the feelings of betrayal and abandonment I associate with my father’s behavior as he navigated his transition leave me feeling jumpy and twitchy every time trans issues come up.
There is no hate here, no agenda. There is only pain, a lot of prayer, and the fervent hope that this pain will one day become something good.
Today I went to the drugstore to pick up supplies to deal with a birthing-related condition that still plagues me 40 years later. Ah, the joys of owning a female body. I came to the counter with my inflatable donut, stool softener, benzocaine and cortisone cream and noticed the cashier behind the counter. This was a tall teenager with a big jaw, wide shoulders, narrow hips, an adam’s apple, chin length styled blonde hair, peach fuzz on his baby fat cheeks and a pair of breasts like golf balls mounted on his chest. He was puffy all over, which I recognize as a side effect of cross sex hormone treatments. Of course I knew I had to pretend everything was just fine and nothing abnormal was going on. The kid had a shy smile and was in nowise one of the “special snowflakes” who threaten to rape and burn TERFS, and I certainly do not blame kids like him for getting railroaded into hormones and surgery as a cure for not fitting into the man box or the woman cage.
I put myself in a state of mild dissociation in order not to betray my actual outrage, paid for my butt supplies and left the store. But all I could think of was that this poor kid, who was probably just a garden variety homosexual who likes ballet (or whatever gender nonconforming thing infuriated his idiot parents) is never going to be a father because the drugs the docs are shooting him up with are destroying his reproductive capacity. That is what puberty blockers and cross sex hormones DO. That is what they were designed to do.
So, basically, this kid is being exploited, experimented on by greedy medical assholes, systematically sterilized and even deprived of the ability to feel sexual feelings, because his penis is atrophying. And his life will be drastically shortened by cancer, heart attack, stroke and other deleterious effects of synthetic hormones. He has been made into a lifelong medical patient, dependent on Big Pharma for the rest of his life. I felt violated by this eugenic horror going on right in front of my eyes and I could not have been more horrified if this poor kid had been wearing a yellow star. I am writing this post as a way to relieve my trauma. Thanks, Patriarchy for all the ways you daily shock me and keep me off-balance, like the good abuser you are!
The tranzgendering of children is taking place here in Iowa City. The University of Iowa Hospital has a special clinic for treating tranzgender patients. When I first read that this service was being offered I naively assumed that what they MEANT was that they had provided “sensitivity training’ to doctors so that could be more effective in treating the ordinary medical problems that the tranz have in common with all humans. Apparently I was wrong and what they are providing is the actual transition procedures. Capitalism and Medicine, what a nasty pair they make!
Just about every day I read some article in the local paper that talks about the rights of the transgendered and never once do these papers report on the fact that children are being harmed by this procedure. Hence I believe that I have somehow migrated to the State of Tranztopia where everyone believes that drugging and cutting up children is part of a groovy little lifestyle choice that everyone has to approve of lest they be considered a hater.
I actually thought I was done with this series and had said what I needed to say, but then I opened the Daily Iowan, the student rag here at the University of Iowa, and read this stunning editorial that calls for an end to Title lX protections for females in order to accommodate people who think they are the opposite sex from the one they were born as. If I had any doubt that the tranz fad is all about misogyny and the attempt to terrorize women and invade our hard won private space and generally erase us and the gains we have made in the legal sphere, then this piece of yellow journalism clears away those doubts.
The very worst part of this is that I can’t get anyone in the UI community or this paper to answer any of my questions about the tranz phenomenon. It’s like I entered the Twilight Zone and I am surrounded by the Gender Zombies. Appparently now that we are no longer distinguishable from one another and are sexually interchangeble there is no longer a problem with male privilege, male violence against women or the thousands of ways that that people who are born with “front holes” are harassed, diminished, paid less for the same work, and subject to forced pregnancy and “sex work.” Tranzing non-gender-conforming kids is a progressive idea and anyone who disagrees and wonders whether a child can give informed consent to poisonous sterilizing hormones and mutilating plastic surgery is a gay-bashing bigot who does not deserve the dignity of a reply.
The Supreme Court is set to hear a potentially landmark case in the battle for LGBTQ rights. This is the second major case the Supreme Court has heard with regards to the LGBTQ community in the past two years (the first being the mandate that all U.S. states legalize same-sex marriage).
The upcoming case deals with the increasingly ubiquitous debate over public restrooms. According to NPR, the case, Gloucester County School Board v. Grimm, involves a transgender boy who was able to use the boy’s restroom as a freshman in high school until some parents complained. As a result, the School Board adopted a policy requiring students to use the restrooms corresponding with their biological sex or a separate single-stall restroom.
In April, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 4th District agreed to see the case. Gloucester County then petitioned the court, and justices ruled (5-3) that the School Board did not have to follow the order of the lower court.
According to numerous sources, Grimm’s argument has been that Title IX (the federal law banning sex-based discrimination in schools) protects transgender people as well.
The case becomes interesting because, according to the Washington Post, Title IX may not apply to this scenario. Title IX does not make a comment on gender classification; rather, it comments on the ability of men and women to use specific facilities. Grimm’s case may, therefore, have some difficulty proving a connection to Title IX because Grimm would have to prove that as a male, he is being discriminated against (as opposed to the school debating how he defines his own gender). This is not to say that Grimm does not have a case, but that he may not be able to win on the grounds that the actions of the Gloucester County School Board violated Title IX.
Regardless of whether this case is winnable for Grimm, federal legislation like Fair Housing and Civil Rights could also be affected by the decision.
While the case will not be heard until sometime next year, the implications of this case are massive and are only magnified by the battle currently going on over the ninth Supreme Court seat. This case — taken alone — will have effects on many future cases involving transgender individuals. But given that there may be an impending flip of partisan power on the Supreme Court, the precedent set by this case will inform all future cases involving public expectations, no mater how insensitive of transgendered people.
The weight of this case, therefore, cannot go unnoticed. The actual decision may be several months away, but it is never too early for the Supreme Court to consider the long-lasting impact of its decisions. The Daily Iowan Editorial Board believes it is the Supreme Court’s duty to protect the rights of these Americans, as it finally did last year for other members of the LGBTQ Community.
Perhaps because of the vague language used in Title IX, this could not be the case that opens doors like the gay marriage decisionof last year opened doors for other members of the LGBTQ community. But it is the beginning of a more serious national discussion of openness that has been coming for some time.
That said, we hope the case to rule in favor of Grimm. But it seems this all sits in limbo of who will sit in the ninth seat on the Supreme Court and how that person chooses to interpret Title I.
My Reply :
You say,”But it is the beginning of a more serious national discussion of openness that has been coming for some time,” but in fact this paper has never once printed any information from anyone who questions the merits and the science behind transgendering people. And whenever I personally try to engage anyone in the UI community on this topic, from RVAP (Rape victim’s Advocacy Program) to WRAC (Women’s Resource and Action Center) to the GWSS (Gender, Women and Sexuality Studies) program I am studiously ignored. You mention that ” the precedent set by this case will inform all future cases involving public expectations, no mater how insensitive of transgendered people,” but you say nothing about how abolishing the legal difference between males and females will be far more than simply insensitive to women.
I would like you to present peer-reviewed scientific studies that prove that there is no biological or therefore, legal, difference between males and females and that the socialized gender noms that have been establsihed by patriarchy in order to enforce the second class status of females are inborn characteristics that have more validity than being born XX or XY, that is, as a male or a female with their associated sex organs.
People may be “assigned” a sex ROLE at birth and they may not like that sex ROLE, but this does not therefore mean that they have the “wrong” body. Why am I not allowed to say this?
I would also like to know what not liking your body, such that you want to mutilate yourself in order to appear to be the opposite sex, has to do with being homosexual. Are all transgender people homosexual? If they aren’t, then why are they part of the the gay, lesbian, queer, bisexual political rights cadre? I would be happy to hear what the reasoning behind this is, especially since I am a bisexual, non-gender-conforming grandma and I apparently missed something as this was becoming an issue that I am now being forced to grapple with.
Another problem with your continued advertisement of and normalization of this trend is the way that it affects children. I went along with the trans ideology until I realized that parents were taking their non-gender-conforming kids to shrinks and surgeons and subjecting them to hormone treatments (which can cause cancer and mitochondrial damage as well as sterilizing a child before they really understand what this means) and plastic surgery. That is when I had to put my foot down and speak up.
Being gender-non-conforming is fine with with me. People who don’t conform to patriarchal sex role stetreotypes should not be the targets of male violence. But trivializing and erasing the rights of an entire sex class (women) and trying to shame people like me into silence for questioning whether there is even any science behind this assertion, i.e., that somehow there is no biological difference between men and women and that a person can be born into the wtrong body and needs the ministrations of surgeons and Big Pharma to cure them of this malady, – is just more male privilege at work.
It is fucking hard to be rereading Mary Daly’s Gyn/Ecology thirty years on from the first time I read her and to realize that I had the “answers” and the analysis and yet I could not avoid being eaten alive by the forces of the sadostate. I descended into the phallocratic underworld and completely lost my way and my self. Which was the main point of all the violence – to consign me to a living death.
Within the sadostate women are ontologically undermined, for the sadointent is the conversation of female participation in Be-ing into mere being, that is, the conversion of women into things, and into complicity and thinghood. To the extent that phallic lust succeeds, women are reduced to nonbe-ing.
Robert Whitaker’s book Mad In America:The Enduring Mistreatment of the Mentally Ill partly woke me up in 2008 and sent me along a path of healing; facing my addiction to the behavior-control chemicals that I was prescribed by doctors who were apparently attempting to partially euthanize me. They were trying to shut me up about having been raped and battered by my father for the first 12 years of my life. I did manage to free myself from the drug straitjacket, tapering carefully from the behavior-control chemical cocktail slowly over the course of 4 years.
Whitaker went over the some of the same material as Daly, chronicling the rise of gyno/genocidal psychiatry – it’s connections to eugenics and Nazi medical experiments and the mass murder of mental patients during WWll in Germany, but Daly’s words were absent from my damaged brain in 2008, my memory wiped clean by the chemicals and the psychiatric trauma I had endured. And so I wasn’t able to see the whole picture and make the connection that psychiatry is one front, a major one, in the war on women.
There is indeed a war on women. There is a force in this culture, in all of the civilizations on the planet, (except the most primitive and endangered) that absolutely HATES women and nature and wants us silenced, bound and gagged, controlled, tortured, eliminated, made into a lifeless plastic substitute. I have been encountering it everywhere, but I have been unable to name it or see the connections between the various manifestations. I kept taking it personally, kept blaming myself for my difficulties.
Most people really are asleep, are sleepwalking through their lives, automatically acting out atrocities. unaware of the violence they do to themselves, to women and children, to the living planet.
SO -what was I expecting from enlightenment? I guess I was expecting peace and joy and freedom, not this creeping sense of horror upon finding myself awake in the middle of the mass nightmare we call civilization.
I spoze I could go back to the professional euthanizers and have them chemically neutralize me again.
Nah. I’d rather be awake and aware and in pain than be one of the zombies walking around with their eyes glued to their smartphones, oblivious to the horror raining down all around us.