I’m not good at “treating” myself, I still have the protestant ethic attitude of self-denial that was part of my environment as a child. I know I shouldn’t eat too many sweets and so I avoid ice cream parlors and frozen yogurt shops. Last Wednesday I was coming home from a day of exploring new “wilderness” areas around the University of Iowa. I’d been out in the sun tramping the trails for several hours and as I was walking home down the Ped Mall I decided that a bowl of frozen yogurt sounded like a good idea.
I am a survivor of incest. I was held as a sexual hostage throughout my childhood by the violent pedophile who was my father. The abuse began in infancy and continued until I was able to escape at age 16 when I ran away to Canada. I am hyper-alert to body language, to subtle cues of voice, intonation, to the patterns of speech and the way that men and women move, the differences in the shapes of shoulders and hips, the hands, the neck. I have to know these things in order to keep myself safe. My body knows instinctively that male bodies are a potential source of danger to me. I can’t turn this sense off…it is hardwired by all of the beatings and rapes I have received at the hands of men that began so early in my life. This is not transphobia or bigotry, this is gut-level biological survival.
At the counter of the yogurt stand was a person who appeared at first to be a 13 year old boy, complete with short, slicked back hair, narrow shoulders, a shadow of a mustache and a breaking adolescent voice. After the first sentence this young woman uttered I knew immediately that she was in her late teens/early twenties, taking testosterone and pretending to be a boy. T-voice is extremely distinctive. I have heard it in the voices of several young women who decided to detransition. The voice change is permanent for girls and women who medically transition.
The other cues I picked up on were the tangible sense of anxiety and tension that exuded from her and the detached, mechanical way she kept repeating the same sentence to every customer as they paid for their treat, “Have a nice nice night!” she called out in that odd voice that sounded as if she’d been huffing balloon gas. It was strange because it was 3 in the afternoon. Anyway, I felt uncomfortable sitting there because I knew something about this woman that she thought she was keeping secret. I was also a bit concerned that she may have recognized me. This is a small community and the Tranz Cult is an even smaller clique and I have been vehemently vocal about the eugenic horror that is medical sexual reassignment.
But I was also uncomfortable because I was in the presence of a human being who had signed up for inclusion in what is essentially a cult that is based in mortification of the flesh. These mortification cults have been a staple of patriarchal religions since the beginning of male supremacy. They express the core of the body-hatred that is a fundamental aspect of the slave religions of patriarchy. I believe these cults arise in times of increased social duress as a way to cement one’s sense of identification with a group in the face of an uncertain future – which is certainly the case in an age of peak oil and climate chaos. These poor kids think they have invented some kind of brand new revolutionary gender theology, when really the Tranz Cult is an outgrowth of the bondage and discipline scene, which is a leftover from The Inquisition, i.e., the torture and murder of witches and other heretics. The message is that the sex hierarchy WILL BE ENFORCED. If you don’t fit the stereotype you can join the Tranz and buy yourself a new “meat costume” and act out the opposite sexist stereotype. So progressive!
Mortification of the flesh is meant to achieve salvation. Saved from the fate of growing up female in a world that tortures and exploits females. And otherwise progressive and intelligent people support this insanity and vilify women like me who try to alert the public to what is happening to kids as a result of the gender identity ideology cult nonsense. Nobody has EVER been born into the “wrong body.” Only a viciously body-and-woman-hating culture could dream up this kind of sadomasochistic crap.