Notes on the Journey

The Male Ego

This is a poem/rant of sorts that came to me as I was sitting with my heating pad and cushions, trying to endure the pain of a back injury my father inflicted on me 50 years ago. He was in a rage because he had been brought to court by my mother after years of sexually abusing me (and battering all of us- but no-one ever mentioned this.)  On the strength of my testimony he was placed in a psych hospital and subjected to ritual electrocution of the brain daily for many months. When he was released back into the home I was cautioned by my mom that if IT happened again I would be the one to be ejected from the family. Of course my father took this as permission to keep on raping me. One night when my mother was out he began to beat me (in the presence of a friend of mine whom he was also abusing.)   He picked me up and threw me against a bed foot board. I suffered a spinal dislocation that was never treated. And as I grew, instead of doctors acknowledging my trauma and advocating for physical therapy for me, they were only interested in their drug profits and so they proceeded to poison me with neurotoxic chemicals. And yet, I’m emerging from all of this, clean and free and no longer a slave.


There is something terribly wrong with men, with ALL men, with few exceptions. The Male Ego is a force conceived of in Hell. The Male Ego is entropy personified. The Male Ego is an insatiable vampyre. The Male Ego is my mortal enemy.

The Male Ego hates life, hates women. The Male Ego only wants power and control. The Male Ego is the most destructive force in the universe. The Male Ego is Pharoah,  the divine right of kings, the pope, the president, the church, the mosque, the senate, the CORPORATION.

The Male Ego is a rocket. The Male Ego is a missile. The Male Ego is a bomb.

The Male Ego is capitalism. The Male Ego is communism. The Male Ego is the pyramid. The Male Ego is the dirty factory. The Male Ego is an assembly line. The Male Ego is a silicon circuitboard. The Male Ego is a machine.The Male Ego is universal slavery.

The Male Ego is genetically-raped organisms. The Male Ego is Tranzgender Ideology. The male ego is drugging gender-nonconforming kids with toxic hormones. The Male Ego is a supercomputing singularity. The Male Ego is Transhumanism.

The Male Ego is dioxin. The Male Ego is glyphosate. The Male Ego is plutonium. The Male Ego is Fukushima.

The Male Ego is the dying plankton in the acid ocean. The Male Ego is a melting glacier and a supercell storm. The Male Ego is The Sixth Great Extinction.

The Male Ego is a web of chemtrails across the sky. The Male Ego creates the silent terror that keeps us from noticing  and raising Holy Hell.

The Male Ego is pornography. The Male Ego is father>daughter incest and child marriage. The Male Ego is clitoridectomy. The Male Ego is sex as commodity. The Male Ego is all forms of female sacrifice.

The Male Ego is a psych drug. The Male Ego blames the victim and then poisons her.

The Male Ego is my dislocated spine. The Male Ego is the lack of medical care to address my injuries. The Male Ego blames me for the injuries it caused me and forces me to suffer them in shame and silence.

The Male Ego has no ears. The Male Ego is an isolated atom. The Male Ego is paranoid and self-obsessed. The Male Ego is a sadist. The Male Ego is a rapist. The Male ego is a terrorist. The Male Ego is a torturing Inquisitionist. The Male Ego is a killer.

Jeanne Allyn Smith, c. 2018




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: