Notes on the Journey

Triggered By The Tranz

24068819_10155855264799844_4081140009308796329_oI think it would be good for me to try to explain why it is that I find the Tranz issue so compelling, to the extent that I am engaging in guerrilla art acts and writing essays and letters to editors and to women’s organizations that are centering genderist ideology in their programming.

I talk about some of early impressions about gender-bending that I acquired from popular novels and movies in my first essay, Tranz Trances, Session 1  here on this blog.  I lived in a housing coop here in Iowa City that centered tranz ideology;  where we were required to state our preferred pronouns at the beginning of every business meeting. There were tranz individuals living there and I really did not think it was a harmful thing to choose to live this way.

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THIS IS SHE

But then I joined lefty art group and came in close contact with women and men who said they were the other sex, some were taking cross sex hormones, but others were not. There was one man in the group who had a female name. He was a tall, muscular, balding, blonde man in his twenties. There was unspoken social pressure that was exerted on everyone to refer to this man as “she.” I felt weird about this and went to some length to find ways to avoid having to use any pronoun. One day I was working with one of the founding members, a talented woman whom I otherwise admire, (I’ll call her “Kay”) and I felt very creepy when she referred to him as she and I knew that I was not allowed to question this in any way lest I be considered an ignorant bigot.

Now that I have done considerable research into this phenomenon I know that what “Kay” did to me is known as gaslighting.  She was fucking with my perception of physical reality in order to further her own political agenda. This incident, along with another related incident,  was what started my peak tranz moment and which massively triggered me to the point where I was compelled to speak out and take action.

I had a moment of clarity some months ago about how what “Kay” did to me was reminiscent of what my mother did to me, viv-a-vis my being sexually assaulted by my father. Recently I woke up from a dream that made the link even more explicit.  In the dream “Kay” invited me to be part of the group again and outlined projects I might like to work on.  I decided I needed to confront her about why I had left the group, but I kept chickening out. We were at a student center and one student had a sign with a half-man/half-woman image on the door to their room. I pressed on regardless with her about how it is really not possible to change your sex, let’s get rid of patriarchal gender roles, etc.  She seemed to be listening…and then I woke up.

And my first thought upon waking was that what “Kay” did to me, i.e., calling a man SHE because it was seen as the groovy new politically correct thing to do, was part and parcel of RAPE CULTURE and it’s valuation of men’s lies over women’s lived reality. And, yes, this is what happened to me as a child of a violent pedophile. He was supported and enabled by this male supremacist culture and I was silenced and vilified.

The dream was a wish-fulfillment of mine, and did not give me any hope of a resolution with this woman or with the community that has adopted tranz ideology as its transcendent value. But it did help me understand why I am so “triggered” by tranz ideology.

What the man who says he is a woman has done/is doing is not some benign action. It is not positive or brave or groovy, however trendy it may seem to be and despite having been adopted as the central thesis of the (former) Gay Liberation Movement.

Tranzing is rape culture. It is sick men with a clothing fetish and alienated self-hating women engaging in the thrill of social violation. Tranz ideology is a patriarchal poison that gives the appearance of being about liberating people from sexual bondage, but is really a psychological warfare against women, the body and the natural world. The man at the art center was violating my psychological integrity.  It was a power move on his part, a giant fuck you to me and my aging, broken down, childbearing body.

And “Kay” and the other women at the art center are colluding with psychopaths and participating in the gaslighting.  “Kay” was  protecting and enabling  this abuser to the extent that I was ostracized from the group. This is what my mother did to me when she protected my abuser and blamed me for his abuse. This is what patriarchal women do to other women to make them obey the rules that men make. “Kay” may as well be one of the women who holds down girls to scrape off their genitals or bind their feet. It’s the exact same process for the same reason, When I wrote to this group to tell them how I had been hurt and why I had some problems with tranz ideology in regard to sterilizing gender nonconforming children I was ignored.

Now that I’ve had this clarifying dream I can start to let go of my rage over this. I have been battling male supremacist violence in all it’s many chimeric forms for 65 years and I FAILED to make a dent in it. Male supremacy has led to the destruction of the entire biosphere and I am unable to stop it. My only consolation is the fact that I did speak up and I did fight back.

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